Thursday, October 28, 2010

We are ok!

Today was an ordinary day. But something truly momumental happened.

I was sitting in the doctor's office fretting about how much weight K has gained, how much he has grown and what dreadful percentile number they will assign him. it was another opportunity for me to doubt my instincts and abilities as a mother. It is truly a scary moment when the doctor looks at you and says "5th percentile". It feels like another judgement. It feels like a grade for raising your baby. What I hear is "95% of moms are better than you".

However, as we sat in the waiting room my little man was being as charming as ever. He was showing off how he could walk and clap. He was smiling and waving at the nurses. He was giggling at the boys playing with cars in the corner. He was trying to steal the Nintendo DS from the girl beside us. He was being Kingston. I thought nothing of it. Until, in the midst of the chaos and activity my little boy looked up at me and rested his head against my chest. My normally "on-the-move tornado" simply wanted to take it all in, in the company and comfort of his mommy.

I felt it. Deep in the core of my being. I AM A MOMMY! We are doing this-its working. We are going to be ok! It was at this precise moment that I felt the gravity that Kingston really does assume that his mother is capable of protecting him from anything the world has to throw at him. He would rather the company and protection of my arms than the excitement of the toys and people in the waiting room.

His calm was absolute. It was the kind of calm that only comes with complete trust and confidence. That someone was me. He has absolute faith in me (and in that so should I).


BratNatHouse said...

I must add that as I put him to bed tonight I thanked him for having faith in me when I didn't have the strength to do it myself. He is a brave little guy. I am beyond lucky.

Leanne and Mia said...

Sometimes all we need is a reminder that we are wanted, needed and loved. He will always have faith in you. And so will I.